The most pointless RECAP and REVIEW of ALL TIME: The Boys #65!

[Kamakazi]

Wow. It feels like all of us read #65 three days before it was actually released! It literally seems like we've been talking about this issue forever, and for good reason. This is it- the big one, the issue we've all been waiting for.

Before I start recapping, I just wanna say that this was a great, great issue. Even I, try though I did, couldn't find much to hate about it. I could whine (and most certainly will) about how I wish the rest of the title had been this awesome, but screw that. We're talking about Issue #65, and it was phenomenal.

RECAPPIN' IN STYLE:

Butcher walks in on Homelander getting Head from Vic the Veep. Homelander proceeds to give Head to Butcher. Yes, it's going to be exactly that kind of recap. Deal with it. Also, I'm going to recap the book in random order. Some passages might be in Latin. Consider it my version of the "shaky-cam" bullshit that we were forced to endure through the "Hunger Games" movie.

What? I should get back to recapping? Fine.
No, wait. We're going to play a game. The game is called "At what point would you have known that Black Noir was a clone of Homelander, if you hadn't already known from months of discussing that very topic here on this board?" I'm going with the scene where Homelander informs Butcher that he has absolutely no recollection of half the atrocities he's supposed to have committed. Homie then laughs at Butcher's insanely inappropriate choice of weapons. Butcher decides to try and brain him anyway. I'm really trying to figure out a way to work in more fellatio jokes, and failing.

Anyway. Remember how I joked that BN would turn out to be Rorschach? To prove my point, BN wanders out of the darkness, and utters Rorschach's immortal line, "Hnnnnnnnnnnnh!" at Butcher and Homie.

Okay, so back to Basil Exposition... uh, Mother's Milk, and he continues to explain the plot to the only person in any universe, fictional or otherwise, too stupid to figure it out for themself: Hughie. Okay, is it just me, or does Mother's Milk sound more cartoonishly Ethnic in every single panel of this book? He starts out at a level 3 "Wesley Snipes" Black Accent, and ends up at a full-on Level Nine Marshall Mathers. It's disconcerting. And weird. And inexplicable. Let me recap. Because recappin' is my thang, yo.

"Yo homeslice, Vought created uh clone o' de Homelander, ta kill him in case he becumz uh threat. da clone wuz de Black Noir. ah think de Black Noir go madness an' decided ta frame up de Homelander fo' uh bunch o' crimes, so dat he'd gots an excuse ta kill da n**ga, an don't make me pull mah gat!

Mother's Milk then proceeds to slap an underage prostitute, eat a bucket of fried chicken, and get a contract with the NBA.

Back with Butcher, Homie, and Blacklander: Blacklander removes his mask, revealing what we already knew. The weird thing is: I was actually surprised. Seriously. We'd been talking about it for so long that I'd convinced myself it couldn't possibly happen. It was as if the Rapture happened tomorrow- Yeah, I'm a Christian, so I'm supposed to believe it's coming, but frankly, I don't really expect it to.

So, Blacklander starts to explain his evil plan. I really would prefer not to linger on this scene, because it's retarded, and not in the good, "Sarah Palin's children" way. It's retarded in the "Why the hell does Ennis do shit like this?" way. Mother's Milk just spent two pages explaining to us that nobody, not one fucking person at Vought thought there was anything wrong with Blacklander other than a certain social awkwardness regarding public speaking. Also, they completely failed to notice that he looks exactly like Homelander. I know we've beaten this to death in other threads, but that doesn't make it any less stupid.

Anyway, Blacklander turns out to be a gibbering spastic who sounds like a deranged five-year-old with downs syndrome. Seriously folks, there's no way Vought could have mistaken this for "being withdrawn". It brings down the book. It's insulting. It's lazy. But let's move past it. As it turns out, most of the hideous things that we've blamed on Homelander were actually Blacklander. However, and again, I don't mean to nitpick, but that's my gig: the plot starts swerving all over the place, like a car on black ice. Suddenly, Blacklander kidnapped the families that he's shown killing in the "penis massacre" pictures. But as I recall, we were led to believe earlier that the families were those of the 9/11 pilots, and that Vought had them killed to cover their tracks.

Outside, the Supes are dying like flies. I was expecting wholesale slaughter, but this seems a little anti-climatic. I doubt the military loses even a single person or aircraft in the assault, which hardly makes the supes seem like a threat, now does it? Apparently, we could have just ignored them. I was happy to see Oh! Father get blown in half, though. I hate that prick.

She Hulk utters some famous quote that I'm not familiar with, (Unless she's quoting Connor McCloud from 'Highlander') and then gets blow'd up real good. Again, should I be seeing these guys as the underdogs? Because that's how I'm seeing them.

Speaking of which, I think it's time that I brought up something that's bugged me this WHOLE DAMN COMIC. Ennis wants us to believe that people are so inherently evil that given any amount of power at all, they'll instantly turn into degenerate scumbags. Well, if that's the actual truth of The Boys Universe, why the hell do I care what happens to ANYBODY in it? If every single human being in this particular reality is nothing but Ted Bundy awaiting the opportunity to kill, rape, and snort drugs with impunity, and the only thing that stands between them and complete moral depravity is the ability to fly, then maybe they'd all be better off dead.

Back inside, Butcher makes the witty observation that Homelander became a psychopath based completely off of false information. Homelander illustrates the diversity of the F-Word, and attacks Blacklander. This could have been a really cool fight scene, because suddenly we could get behind Homelander a little bit- and there have been points where he was a least somewhat sympathetic, such as during Believe, when he told Starlight to grow the hell up and take responsibility for her own actions.

Homelander incinerates Blacklander's arm. Blacklander punches Homelander's jaw completely off. This is really great stuff, which means we only get a page of it. Butcher decides to get the hell out of Dodge. He rejoins Hughie and the Marines. He informs Hughie that he, much like us, is already aware of the CloneLander Saga. He pushes a Marine out of a gunnery seat. Hilarity regarding their respective accents ensues.

Blacklander, having won the Battle of the Landers, comes lurching out of the White House. He's pretty messed up. Apparently, our boy Homelander gave nearly as good as he got during the battle. IF ONLY WE'D GOTTEN TO SEE IT. Yeah, it was much more compelling watching Butcher make "Dude" jokes. The Marines open fire. Blacklander goes down. I'm assuming this is the payoff for the "aim for open wounds" line from last issue. But wait, Blacklander lurches to his knees. Well, we knew Butcher had to be the one to finally put him down for good. Butcher walks over and in an admittedly AWESOME scene, uses his crowbar to pop Blackie's skull open like a bottle cap. Then he grabs a handful of brains, monologs for a while, then squeezes.

...here's the thing. I'm not sure it was an emotionally satisfying victory, either for Butcher or for us. Yes, the Big Reveal that it was BN who was the badguy all along was cool, but we have YEARS invested into thinking that Homelander was the Big Bad. I really didn't feel much closure with Blackie's death, especially since it turned out that he was a gibbering idiot.

And speaking of gibbering idiots. Who at Vought thought it was a good idea to create a stronger, even more crazy version of Homelander, "just in case Homelander went bad"? Was it the vice president of their Umbrella Corporation division? Who signed off on that? "Hey, I have this plan. Just in case Homelander ever turns evil, let's make an even stronger version of him, who's already evil! Oh, and get this- we'll make him look exactly like the Homelander, but we won't tell anyone. Great, right?"

So, Butcher wanders off, cries a bit, then informs us that he's gonna do something even more horrible next issue. I'm not gonna speculate, because knowing Ennis, it's gonna be something spectacularly douchebaggy like "Butcher devises a way to kill children in the womb if they have V Potential", or something like that. And again, using the logic of The Boys Universe, maybe Butcher should just exterminate the entire human race, given that we're all irredeemable bastards, waiting only for the ability to cling to walls to turn us in to baby-killing lunatics.

...and thus we come to the end of the Penultimate arc of The Boys. And what an end it was. Let's hope the next six issues are as good.

[ambaxtoxin]

I just can't get over the idea that Black Noir knew how to operate a timed shutter release on a camera (and possessed absolutely exquisite photographic timing, it would seem).

And kept a tripod handy for such occasions as multiple rape and homicide.

[statsman]

Wow. The after party really is better than the party. Thanks, kamakazi.

ambaxtoxin, I thought the same. I also wondered why, when HL realized he had no memory of the events in the pictures, he didn't think "possible photoshop" before "I must be mentally deranged" (I can get why "it must be a clone" comes third as an option).

"Apparently, our boy Homelander gave nearly as good as he got during the battle. IF ONLY WE'D GOTTEN TO SEE IT"

My goal (while visiting the in-laws) this weekend is to draw, in MSPaint, the scene of BN extracting HL's head. I've put some thought into it, given that HL wasn't fazed by a widebody airplane and BN had no cutting implements to work with.

[Simon Rogerson]

And I think the photos were pre-digital, so Black Noir must have known his way around a darkroom. He may have been an evil crazy bastich, but he was also a keen amateur photographer... heeeeehhhnnn!

Wonderful recap Kamakazi. I don't think the whole Boys universe rests on the assumption that all people are fundamentally evil, though. I think it's more of a case of 'unearned power + Vought's influence + temptation + peer behaviour = evil (or at the least, a distinct lack of moral fibre)'. There are a few good supes out there, after all: Annie and Vaz, most obviously.

I too wondered why we didn't get the satifaction of a double page spread devoted to the Big Fight. It must have been a conscious decision, but I can't really see the logic in it. i suppose the point is simply, "they tear the shit out of each other, and Black Noir wins".

What about the depiction of BN as a gurning fool? In a way, it works better than all the other options, and I can see why Ennis took that route. In a way it shows how hollow vengeance is; I like the fact that we readers don't feel much closure on BN's final death. But then, I would have been disappointed if he'd got away. He was a bad dawg, had to be put down. I thought the frames of him lurching out of the White House with Homelander's torso were so great, maybe they say it all without having to show the fight.

Vought's strategy with HL and BN was crazy, but it fits into the Boys universe and its less than charitable view of corporate America. That said, are they telling me that over 40 years or whatever it was, mad omnipotent Homie never got curious about BN's face and had a tug at the cloth? [even if it sounds like a euphamism for something utterly disgusting]. I guess the guys at Vought who knew about BN's face skipped the meeting when the amateur photography arrived at the office. Still, as I said previously, this sort of plot hole doesn't really bother me. I suspect it's the sort of thing Ennis will sweep away with a few choice words from Stilwell in the next arc.

So where does The Boys go from here? I thought that was a spectacular and satisfying end to a great arc, and a bold subversion of the superhero genre. I thoughts Butcher's empty moment of non-triumph was genuinely tragic. Congratulations to all the artists for some compelling work, in the highly unlikely event they read this forum. You could almost end it right there, but of course there remain issues of closure for the Boys and Vought. I predict... dialogue.

BTW I never worked out where the suggestion that the dismembered family were related to a 9/11 pilot came from. Can anyone enlighten me?

Happy Easter to the literary giants of this forum.

[MisterS]

To paraphrase the immortal Wally Wood, 'Homie has been destroyed by the only one greater than he. A clone of he!

As for Oh Father, ever since BeLIEve, I had been hoping/PRAYING for that pedo to impaled/maimed/skinned by Frenchie and The Female. Ah well...

And speaking of gibbering idiots. Who at Vought thought it was a good idea to create a stronger, even more crazy version of Homelander, "just in case Homelander went bad"? Was it the vice president of their Umbrella Corporation division? Who signed off on that? "Hey, I have this plan. Just in case Homelander ever turns evil, let's make an even stronger version of him, who's already evil! Oh, and get this- we'll make him look exactly like the Homelander, but we won't tell anyone. Great, right?"

Probably the same brains who thought that a shoe company with NO armament/genetic research experience whatsoever, could produce quality aircraft, rifles, and manufactured ubermen in general.

[Kamakazi]

are they telling me that over 40 years or whatever it was, mad omnipotent Homie never got curious about BN's face and had a tug at the cloth?

It's worst than that, my friend. Homie has X-Ray vision.

As for the 9/11 pilots thing, someone with a better memory than me will have to enlighten us... it DID happen, right? I didn't just imagine it, did I?

Oh, one other thing. I dug out a copy of The Boys #1 last night, and I'm fairly certain BN looked absolutely nothing like Homelander back then. He was about four inches shorter, and 50lbs lighter. This leads us to the question: WHO WAS PRETENDING TO BE BLACK NOIR?

[statsman]

There were some details I really liked. I liked how issue 64 had a lot of stuff happen without shoving it in our faces- particularly the subtle way it let us know Butcher was ready to go in there and die, knowing that his death really wasn't necessary (it was going to take heavier armament than he carried to take down HL). He said goodbye to Hughie, got briefed on the coming dawn air attack, told the marines to aim at open wounds of anybody coming out (he knew he wouldn't be able to finish off HL). He went in hoping he would be lucky enough to still be alive to see HL's face when he realized it was going to end.

I also liked how he got the hell out of there once HL and BN squared off.

I liked how short the HL/BN fight was. Most are short.

I think they overdid the "HL grew up next to a nuke" business. Clearly, a nuke is not necessary to take down HL. A good bunker-buster should do it. Maybe an old cold war tactical nuke.

Oh, and in retrospect, the plan for the Seven to save the day on 9-11? Worst plan ever, given what we know of BN now.

[Simon Rogerson]

It's worst than that, my friend. Homie has X-Ray vision.

Hah – very good point! C'mon Ennis I know you're out there... we all loved 65 but you owe Kamakazi an Easter Egg for that.

[Sir Gibby]

I remember someone in the book mentioning the 9/11 family....shit, I want to say it was Mallory to Hughie. That said, did I get the dates wrong...like, isn't MM saying that "the family had been missing for years" or something similar? I thought the math was off.

And Kamakazi, c'mon man, Malchemical was pretending to be BN back when the show started.

Sucks to be She Hulk, or She Behemoth or whatever. Says 3 things the entire series. Instructions where to climax to the train being run on her (it?), commenting on quality cocaine, and famous jackass last words.

I loved, loved, loved the AWACS in there. That was just six leagues of badass.

[Dustin]

I remember someone in the book mentioning the 9/11 family....shit, I want to say it was Mallory to Hughie. That said, did I get the dates wrong...like, isn't MM saying that "the family had been missing for years" or something similar? I thought the math was off.

And Kamakazi, c'mon man, Malchemical was pretending to be BN back when the show started.

Sucks to be She Hulk, or She Behemoth or whatever. Says 3 things the entire series. Instructions where to climax to the train being run on her (it?), commenting on quality cocaine, and famous jackass last words.

I loved, loved, loved the AWACS in there. That was just six leagues of badass.

The family in the photos had been missing for six years by the time Vought got the pics, so they had nothing to do with 9/11.