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The Boys #52 Full Recap And Review: Now I recall why they call them "cartoons".

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  • The Boys #52 Full Recap And Review: Now I recall why they call them "cartoons".

    Our story starts with Mallory and Hughie sitting around on a porch. It ends with them sitting on a porch. Neither move the entire issue. And thus it is that we have another ACTION-PACKED issue of EVERYONE'S FAVORITE comic: "Men share their feelings, with Hughie and Mallory."

    Let's handle the unpleasant job of berating Ennis for the cheap, idiotic gimmick of trying to sucker us with Mallory as an English Gentleman right up front: If a plot point is so monumentally stupid that even the character who's involved in it comments on it, there's a problem. Mallory goes to great lengths to explain to Hughie why he doesn't look, sound, or act anything like the Mallory that we all know and love... despite the fact that Hughie doesn't need an explanation. He doesn't know what Mallory used to look like, or indeed, if Mallory was English, Scottish, or Aboriginal Australian. This entire segment exists merely to try and justify to us, the reader, why we just got smacked in the tits with the lamest red herring in the history of comics.

    Sorry Garth. I don't buy it. You spent six issues of Highland Laddie purposely trying to screw with us. You don't get off with some pathetic "V makes you age more slowly, except for when the plot demands that you age more quickly" crap. Stormfront was the same age as Mallory, yet he didn't turn into the farmer from "Babe" just to confuse us as to who the hell we were reading about.

    The only good part about this is that Mallory points out that Hughie is an ineffectual moron. The bad part is that Ennis seems to forget that Hughie is only a moron because Ennis writes him as a moron. It's not like there's a real guy named Hughie that somehow didn't notice that he was dating one of the seven most famous people on the planet. ENNIS wrote that, as a plot device. Every time Hughie bench-presses the Idiot Ball, it's because Ennis lobbed it to him.

    Anyway. Now is the time on Sprockets when we Flashback!

    It's WW2, and EVERYONE ON THE GODDAMN PLANET IS AN IDIOT. Why? Because the plot demands it. It's bad enough when Hughie acts completely retarded, but in this flashback, we have to accept that everyone, from the President to every member of the military, is a clueless imbecile that doesn't notice when Vought American sells them guns that won't fire or tanks that won't... tank. I get it. VA are the Bad Guys. But for hell's sake, how the hell do these guys stay in business? They have a marketing plan that makes the Umbrella Corporation seem rational by comparison. (Yes, I've probably used that joke before. Sue me.)

    So anyway, Vought sends over some tanks with no ammunition, or some such idiocy. Whatever. The odd thing here is that VA appears to be the model of military efficiency and discipline whenever they're doing something Fiendish, like chumming the South Pacific with Pre-Whiz, or murdering highly trained teams of Black-Op Marines. Their competency seems to be in direct proportion to the Evilness of their current endeavor.

    Back with Laz-E-Boy and the Recliner, (bonus points for to whoever names the movie) we find our Heroes talking about Butcher. Butcher is, apparently, an asshole. Who knew? He also has a bit of a grudge against Supes. This comes as quite a surprise, as we had no hint of this over the past four years. It is hinted that we'll learn more about Mallory's past. Unfortunately, I really don't give a shit. Yes, we get it, Supes are morons, the Invader clones are about to get slaughtered, yadda yadda yadda. None of this really explains anything that needs to be explained, such as "Where the hell does Vought get their money, considering they've never made a successful product in the history of the company?"
    Last edited by Kamakazi; 03-11-2011, 12:16 AM.

  • #2
    To be fair to Ennis, there is something of a disconnect between the people on the front lines (who have to make use of the weapons and stuff) and the people who actually buy it. There are plenty of examples of governments buying stuff they don't need (or is badly flawed in some way) and running into trouble when they actually have to take it to war.

    VAC is a rather extreme case, to be fair, but there was the never-to-be-sufficently-damned Snatch Land Rover - or, as UK troopers came to call it, the 'mobile coffin'...

    Chris

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Chrisnuttall View Post
      VAC is a rather extreme case, to be fair, but there was the never-to-be-sufficently-damned Snatch Land Rover - or, as UK troopers came to call it, the 'mobile coffin'...
      Chris
      Heh. You said "snatch".

      I think the thing that bothers me is Vought's inter-generational incompetence. They didn't just sell crappy tanks in WW2, they sold crappy aircraft, crappy rifles during Viet Nam, and have apparently invested close to a Trillon dollars into their Supe program, which has never yielded even a single Supe that was useful for anything other than selling comic books. You'd think they'd have to have created something useful at some point over their sixty year history to justify why they're still around. If V really costs 24 billion per dose (or whatever it was, I forget) and that's just for a shot like Hughie got, then Homelander cost considerably more to create than the entire American space program. Where the hell did Vought get that kind of money? And why do they insist on just haphazardly crapping out clueless Supes with zero training, in the vain hope that they'll be useful in military applications?

      Why not train the Supes they're training to be soldiers from childhood? Or better yet, why not pick a team of Navy Seals, and give them V? Why is Vought Guy, who is in all other respects supposed to be incredibly smart, wasting his time trying to teach Black Noir to fly a jet? Wouldn't it be simpler to find a pilot, inject him with V, and have HIM fly the damn Noir-Plane around? Why does every single person in the Boys universe do things in the dumbest, most complex way imaginable?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
        Heh. You said "snatch".

        I think the thing that bothers me is Vought's inter-generational incompetence. They didn't just sell crappy tanks in WW2, they sold crappy aircraft, crappy rifles during Viet Nam, and have apparently invested close to a Trillon dollars into their Supe program, which has never yielded even a single Supe that was useful for anything other than selling comic books. You'd think they'd have to have created something useful at some point over their sixty year history to justify why they're still around. If V really costs 24 billion per dose (or whatever it was, I forget) and that's just for a shot like Hughie got, then Homelander cost considerably more to create than the entire American space program. Where the hell did Vought get that kind of money? And why do they insist on just haphazardly crapping out clueless Supes with zero training, in the vain hope that they'll be useful in military applications?

        Why not train the Supes they're training to be soldiers from childhood? Or better yet, why not pick a team of Navy Seals, and give them V? Why is Vought Guy, who is in all other respects supposed to be incredibly smart, wasting his time trying to teach Black Noir to fly a jet? Wouldn't it be simpler to find a pilot, inject him with V, and have HIM fly the damn Noir-Plane around? Why does every single person in the Boys universe do things in the dumbest, most complex way imaginable?
        Well, as the Legend pointed it out, "they have the right hands up the right asses, but they seem not to be able to actually deliver the product".

        After all, why bother building a WORKING tank/aircraft/rifle/supe, when your friends in the government will buy it anyway (for twice the actual price of a working one!) ?
        Then, you CAN'T shoot V into people and expect to get a full optionals included Homelander. It's an one on a million shot (except for Hughie, maybe), they must have entire graveyards full of failures. So, wasting perfectly good special forces teams only to HOPE you will get a Captain America is, well, a waste (considering that it's simpler to have Vic the Veep spend the entire military budget of the US for Black Noir and his plane).

        Thus, marketing, media appareances and sharking your way up the chain are better options than an actually good product.

        Hey, I mean, just look at Microsoft!!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Whoo-hooo! Kamakazi came through! Now I can hunker down by the fire and bask in the warmth of this month's episode of the greatest Boys fan discussion on the planet! BTW Mystery Men is the movie! I'll wait by my mailbox for a Kamakazi No-prize!

          Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
          Let's handle the unpleasant job of berating Ennis for the cheap, idiotic gimmick of trying to sucker us with Mallory as an English Gentleman right up front: If a plot point is so monumentally stupid that even the character who's involved in it comments on it, there's a problem. Mallory goes to great lengths to explain to Hughie why he doesn't look, sound, or act anything like the Mallory that we all know and love... despite the fact that Hughie doesn't need an explanation. He doesn't know what Mallory used to look like, or indeed, if Mallory was English, Scottish, or Aboriginal Australian. This entire segment exists merely to try and justify to us, the reader, why we just got smacked in the tits with the lamest red herring in the history of comics.
          Even though I was squarely in the "Mr. Vigors = Mallory" camp, I agree that a better situation would be for readers to visually recognize "Alastair" was Mallory while Hughie was his normal clueless self... If Mallory never broke character, there still would have been debate about who he was... The whole different artist drawing him radically differently red herring was not so good... If they wanted him to look different, why not have Mallory grow a beard/moustache, or dare I say it: wear glasses! As you already pointed out, Hughie would have NO clue what Mallory looked like anyway... Mallory should have made some effort (other than that diabolically clever "hat" costume) to disguise his physical features in an undercover operation... What if VA had decided to follow Hughie or Annie, just to keep tabs on them? (Wouldn't VA follow one of their "big name" operatives who basically went AWOL overseas using her real name?)

          (I did think it was a nice touch to have WWII Mallory be a birdwatcher, BTW...) I think this was the first time in the comics they actually “revealed” that V slows down aging… All of us here already came to that conclusion because we can put 2+2 together… Hughie, on the other hand….

          Stormfront was the same age as Mallory, yet he didn't turn into the farmer from "Babe" just to confuse us as to who the hell we were reading about.
          As I said, I agree with your point... But, I did want to point out that Stormfront was Hitler Youth. So, he was prolly significantly younger than Mallory... And Stormfront seemed to get the really good Compound V with flight and lightning barf and everything... Legend even commented Stormfront might be close to on par with the heavy hitters on the Seven...

          The only good part about this is that Mallory points out that Hughie is an ineffectual moron.
          I like how everyone recognizes this... Even Annie... Her whole speech near the Golden Gate Bridge basically sums up as "If I had anyone better to hang out with, I'd be gone in a heartbeat. But, I'm so screwed up, I'm clinging to the only person who is sometimes nice to me."

          I DID like the fact that SHE proves herself not a moron by bringing up the video and that she KNOWS Hughie is hiding information from her. She detailed nicely all of information he's already leaked to her... Curses! Innis has actually created a sympathetic character in his universe of just plain pathetic characters!!!

          "Where the hell does Vought get their money, considering they've never made a successful product in the history of the company?"
          Okay, I can maybe address this a little bit (slightly different than Chris and Boris, however, they both made excellent points)... The Legend said that after the Vietnam thing, VAC went out of business... That is a MAJOR consequence for their bad business as a military contractor…. No more military contracts… I’m sure they threw some sacrificial sheep executives to the wolves in congress and the press... AND created some "golden parachutes" for some other executives... VAC were forced to dismantle the military hardware aspect of the business... So, they sell ALL of their military manufacturing assets to competitors (amassing a large nest egg for supe research)... LOSE the Vought American Consolidated name.... Fire the peons that worked in manufacturing all those military products that don't work anyway.... KEEP some key executives in charge of the now-splintered companies that make the dog food, and whatever other stuff under other different company names... (I suspect the Jittery Bean coffee house chain is actually a Vought controlled company)… Vought could even slyly buy into other small companies and eventually build up a controlling interest (like Victory Comics)… Anyway, they KEEP the "Red River/Mercs R Us” organization...(big money maker there)…KEEP the political connections with the old political families (after all, the fat cats made big money with VAC)….. and KEEP pouring money into “research” to make better, faster, stronger supes…

          Now, wait 15 minutes for the public to forget the brand name of “VAC” (just look in the real world, "Datsun" returned to "Nisson" as soon as the public forgot "Nisson" was associated with WWII Japan and “Volkswagon” was simply marketed as “VW” until their association with WWII Germany was forgotten… Union Carbide Corp. was bought by Dow Chemicals after the chemical spill in India)..Then merge the smaller companies and reform the mega corporation and come back as Vought American with the launch of “official” superheroes (also making sure to take over the rise of the comic book market and all the merchandising money)...

          Bottom line is Vought doesn’t care if the product works for you as long as they have already sold it to you… The “fiendish” stuff they do is keeping Vought in business or putting VA in a position (bare minimum) for world economic domination… So they really care about those “projects”… And even those get kinda screwed up sometimes (mostly thanks to The Boys). Ultimately, VA makes good dog food…and that’s what keeps them in business..

          So, wasting perfectly good special forces teams only to HOPE you will get a Captain America is, well, a waste (considering that it's simpler to have Vic the Veep spend the entire military budget of the US for Black Noir and his plane).
          I bet Vought have lobbied to get soldiers in the past. But training elite professional soldiers costs money and years of experience… So, it’s a potential double loss if the V just messes them up… The Gov’t wouldn’t hand over actual soldiers after this WWII thing…. And Vought wouldn’t use mercenaries with no way to really control the results… Navy SEALs and Mercs make poor lapdogs… I bet VA would end up spending more time tracking down and killing rogue V’ed up agents than it would be worth… (or more supes would actually try to take over, like Homie seems to be contemplating) Easier and cheaper to deal with Pre-Chum supes… err… raise your own flawed supes, and hope for the best…

          BTW, Vought Guy is not as smart as he thinks he is… He has always overlooked/dismissed and practically ignored Annie/Starlight....
          Last edited by Hot_Ch0c0; 03-15-2011, 09:50 PM. Reason: added stuff

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          • #6


            You know, I'd forgotten that it's established cannon that VAC went out of business after the Viet Nam war. Nice call, man!

            Comment


            • #7
              Badoing, badoing, badoing... CRASH!

              Comment


              • #8
                I finally got a copy of this issue.

                I wonder what it's like to be Annie right now. You know you're being hacked by your boyfriend, but you can't really tell anyone about it as the only colleague you have in your floating continent is so indifferent that it'd just be a waste of time, and telling anyone else would just make your own life worse.

                Why didn't Stormfront age like Mallory? Reckon he's into plastic surgery and hair dye. That's all I can give ya. In all honesty, look at how the Seven have their marketing people in with them re-doing costumes, etc. I'm sure that Payback's fourth publicist--who undoubtedly learned from the charred bodies of the first three--learned how to approach the angry racist with means to pirm him up he'd actually agree to.

                I've been reading--and recommend--Garth's historical fiction (War Stories I and II). While the cover to 53 should be a solid indication of where the next issue is going (and as much as I liked Darick's cover to 52, I hate comic advertising when something on the cover doesn't come up until the last 3 pages of the actual book), it's kind of depressing to realize the supes are going to fail miserably yet VAC's contract will survive. I'm curious if we'll hear about supes in Vietnam, although I really really really hope it's not another 3 or 4 parter filled with just flashback. At least during "I Tell You No Lie, G.I." we had the Butcher/Homelander meeting. Wasn't Jack supposed to get in trouble sometime soon?

                I can't get streaming video out here in the sandbox. Anyone here watch Garth's interview on CBR? What do you all think?

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