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The Boys #69 Review: Coming of the AquaButcher

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  • The Boys #69 Review: Coming of the AquaButcher

    I'm sure the "#69" thing was Freudian in nature.

    Props to Saiddestroyer for inspiring the title of this thread.
    Let's start this week's recap with the cover. And if you don't like spoilers, you not only shouldn't be reading this recap, you shouldn't buy the issue, because the spoiler is right there on the cover, and has been for weeks.

    Three guesses what happens to Mother's Milk. If that seems like a spoiler to you, then you haven't read a single other issue of The Boys, EVER. The only time they do cover shots like this is when the person/dog being featured dies. We all knew MM was buying the farm over a month ago, when the first cover shot appeared. I'm kind of amazed that Blarney Cock didn't get his own "staring wistfully into the imaginary camera" cover back when HE died. So I'm sorry if that particular bit of news comes too early in the recap. Personally, I was a bit pissed off back when I first saw the damn "In Memoriam" cover, and realized that there wasn't a chance in hell that MM was making it to issue #69. Just like I'm pissed off knowing that Frenchie and the Female are obviously buying the farm next issue, and for the very same reason that I knew MM was catching one in the brainpan THIS issue.

    But enough about covers. In the words of the immortal Saiddestroyer: "Yadda yadda, dick joke, something something, Hughie looks a bit less idiot than usual, blablablah." However, the dick joke is funnier than usual. Anyway, nothing really new happens. Yes, we knew Vouglebaum was still alive. Yes, we knew Butcher had him. Yes, we knew that Butcher is working on something to kill everyone with V in their system. A lot of needless exposition occurs. Note to Garth: the time to explain something is when people still give a damn. I've used this analogy before, but here goes again: I used to be a "Lost" fan. I really wanted to know how Locke ended up in a wheel chair. For nearly three years I wanted to know. Finally, I stopped giving a shit. And that's when the writers decided to explain the wheelchair. The problem was, I didn't give a flying fuck at that point. Just like I no longer care who the guy was that Vas was guarding, or anything else that Garth spends six pages explaining. I'd already moved on. The time to tell me all that pointless shit was back when I still might have found it interesting.

    There's a cute scene with Vought Guy and Vought Gal, but it seems pointless and tacked on. These two are irrelevant now, and have been for several issues. As much as I like them as characters, their part of the story is over. I'm sure there's going to be some sort of SHOCKING TWIST ENDING wherein one of these two sells out the other to keep their job, but again, not a shit will be given on my part. The only storyline that would interest me regarding these two is if it turns out that they actually are in love, and they get married and move to a commune in Seattle. But that's not gonna happen.

    Hughie and the Boys decide that it's time to take down Butcher, leading to what will surely be the Female's only words, ever: "I hate mean people." After a bit of discussion, they decide that the need to stick together to take down Butcher. Then Hughie reminds them that they might actually stand a chance if they remained together, so in true Horror Movie fashion, they decide to split up, thus making it easier for Butcher to hunt them down and kill them.

    MM decides that hanging out at the Flatiron will provide him with the highest odds of dying first, so he camps out in front of a computer and calls the others by phone. "No, don't come back here," he tells Hughie. "I'd prefer to have a crowbar shoved up my ass by myself, thank you." And with that, Butcher walks in.

    MM and Butcher stare each other down a bit, and then Butcher tells MM that he could just walk away. "After what you did to Malchemical?" MM roars. "He was the best of our generation!" and with that, the Battle Royale begins. Side note: If you haven't read it yet, you probably think I'm joking about MM bringing up Malchemical.

    Butcher mentions that he thought about killing MM's mom, thus depriving him of the sweet nectar of the gods. MM punches Butcher through a wall, and says "Why didn't you then?" Butcher responds with the perfectly reasonable "Because she's your MUM, jerkoff!" MM responds with "Then why the hell did you even bring it up?" To which Butcher replies "I wanted to make myself seem human and reasonable, even though I'm planning on murdering her, you, your daughter, and every single other person on the planet who has V in their system." MM stops for a moment, confused. "Wait," he finally mutters. "That makes no fucking sense at all." "True", Butcher replies. "Hey, I'm having problems getting the pin out of this fragmentation grenade." MM squints at the grenade. "Hey, let me take a closer look." Butcher nods in agreement, and shoves the grenade directly into MM's nose. "Hey!" MM objects. "I'm far-sighted. I can't see shit this close...."

    BOOM!

    The grenade goes off, taking most of Butcher's hand and all of MM's face with it. Butcher then uses his one remaining hand to smother his faceless BFF.

    On the next page, we're shown a picture of next issue's cover, with Frenchie and the Female on it. The words "Guess who dies NEXT, guys?" is written in 72pt Helvetica Bold underneath them.
    Last edited by Kamakazi; 07-04-2012, 06:03 PM.

  • #2
    It was a great fight, even knowing how it was gonna end. When Butcher says (off-panel) "Oh, bloody hell", I felt a shill run down my spine.

    I'm re-reading #68 and just noted something: Mallory is dead, and it was Butcher's doing. Good ol' Billy knew all along about Hughie's and Mallory chat session, and MM's part in it.
    Last edited by saidestroyer; 07-04-2012, 08:00 PM.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by saidestroyer View Post
      It was a great fight, even knowing how it was gonna end. When Butcher says (off-panel) "Oh, bloody hell", I felt a shill run down my spine.
      It was a great scene, and the fight was much better than Homelander vs Blacklander- but that's what makes H vs B all the more depressing. Ennis knows how to write a good fight scene. The battle twix Jesse and Cassidy was awesome. Butcher vs MM had tons of violence and pathos, especially when Butcher plays the "you're my best mate ever, and I don't deserve to know you" card, just before giving MM a grenade sandwich. The fact that he blew off Homelander vs Black Noir with such a lame, half-assed fight will irk me forever. Or until the book finishes up in a couple of months, and I forget all about it.

      One big problem for me is (and always has been) how completely psychotic Butcher has become. There's no real excuse for it. Yeah, so his wife died. I get that Ennis Plot #3 states that "whenever a character's wife dies, they will devote themselves to eradicating everyone of the same general group affiliation as the person who murders them", but this is ridiculous. Next thing we know, Ennis will have a character that devotes themselves to murdering every redhead on the planet because their wife was killed by Carrot Top.

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      • #4
        I'm gonna miss this series, and I'm gonna miss the cool conversations in these forums.

        What's Ennis doing next?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
          One big problem for me is (and always has been) how completely psychotic Butcher has become. There's no real excuse for it. Yeah, so his wife died. I get that Ennis Plot #3 states that "whenever a character's wife dies, they will devote themselves to eradicating everyone of the same general group affiliation as the person who murders them", but this is ridiculous. Next thing we know, Ennis will have a character that devotes themselves to murdering every redhead on the planet because their wife was killed by Carrot Top.

          I think it's worse than that.

          Basically the whole thing turned out to be Butcher getting his hands on the modified V to blow up every V-ed human being on the planet (including himself, I suppose). Not considering the evil overlord bullshit, this opens a new question: why in heaven did Butcher need the Boys in the first place? And why did he have to recruit Hughie??? He had Rayner, the Boys, Vas, Vogelbaum and "the whole CIA budget", and that's everything he needed for his plan. Plus, he thought he'd died at the hands of the Homelander, but the army guys (apparently at his orders, too) would have finished the job. How is Hughie supposed to fit in this picture is beyond me. And please, Garth, don't "I always wanted a little brother" me. It's like Jesse Custer wanting to kill the Lord Almighty and the whole of Grail and hiring Arseface to help.


          I hoped that in the end Butcher would have managed to bring Hughie on the dark side. That'd been enough twisted, bitter and Ennisian as an ending. Instead we're left with a childish idiot playing superhero, and a second-hand Punisher without Castle's moral restraint. Silly, if you ask me.

          The only sane thing left to do is hoping Vought Guy kills Butcher with his mind powers and then he hires Hughie as his new protègè.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by saidestroyer View Post
            I'm gonna miss this series, and I'm gonna miss the cool conversations in these forums.

            What's Ennis doing next?

            If I had to bet, I'd going for "Sgt.Rock vs. the mutant zombie suicide bombers".

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
              Butcher mentions that he thought about killing MM's mom, thus depriving him of the sweet nectar of the gods. MM punches Butcher through a wall, and says "Why didn't you then?" Butcher responds with the perfectly reasonable "Because she's your MUM, jerkoff!" MM responds with "Then why the hell did you even bring it up?" To which Butcher replies
              "Because Hughie's gonna have to go and see her in #70, and I wanted to remind readers of her existence."


              Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
              On the next page, we're shown a picture of next issue's cover, with Frenchie and the Female on it. The words "Guess who dies NEXT, guys?" is written in 72pt Helvetica Bold underneath them.
              Actually laughed out loud at this. Great end to a great recap.

              Other points:

              - Why would Sean McGuinea have called Hughie, of all people? "Legend's dead, I'll phone that incompetent little Scottish dickhead I've met all of twice. He'll know what to do."
              - Just how God-damn similar is Butcher's face in the panel where he's saying: "Well, if you want, you can still walk away," to Blacklander saying "So many things they'll never know / lovely things I liked so much" from #65?
              - Look at those placards when Bradley is being yelled at by the mob. One of them reads 'Homolander ate my baby'. Not joking.
              - Does a fragmentation grenade not... y'know... fragment? Both eyes perfectly removed from their sockets, not a single tooth lost? American dentistry really is something, isn't it?

              Comment


              • #8
                Seems like next issue, Frenchie will be killing Female as Butcher's or VG failsafe. Butcher was the guy who chose Frenchie in the first place. Thing is, why VGs are still in the picture if they just need to go through trial? Vought Guy wanted to clear all the superheroes too right and especially Homelander ? Could he be funding the anti-V program for Butcher after a mutual agreement ? The explosive V was from Vought Guy when he went to Russia to meet Nina. Butcher seems to have a feeling he met him before in Russia. Just a hunch haha.

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                • #9
                  yes

                  Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
                  It was a great scene, and the fight was much better than Homelander vs Blacklander- but that's what makes H vs B all the more depressing. Ennis knows how to write a good fight scene. The battle twix Jesse and Cassidy was awesome. Butcher vs MM had tons of violence and pathos, especially when Butcher plays the "you're my best mate ever, and I don't deserve to know you" card, just before giving MM a grenade sandwich. The fact that he blew off Homelander vs Black Noir with such a lame, half-assed fight will irk me forever. Or until the book finishes up in a couple of months, and I forget all about it.

                  One big problem for me is (and always has been) how completely psychotic Butcher has become. There's no real excuse for it. Yeah, so his wife died. I get that Ennis Plot #3 states that "whenever a character's wife dies, they will devote themselves to eradicating everyone of the same general group affiliation as the person who murders them", but this is ridiculous. Next thing we know, Ennis will have a character that devotes themselves to murdering every redhead on the planet because their wife was killed by Carrot Top.
                  thats exactly what I'm sayin we looked forward to that fight between b&h for so long and we got 1 panel. granted it was 1 insanely awesome panel. but its almost akin to bioware committing story telling suicide with the mass effect 3 ending? is it possible that we as consumers and fans put these stories on pedestals and harbor unrealistic expectations of these endings? or, do these people really just give up? 1 more thing-the lamplighter death scene was garbage as well. note to garth -when we want revenge FUCKING GIVE IT TO US instead of teasing our twats and pulling out too quick. -___-

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ambaxtoxin View Post
                    - Look at those placards when Bradley is being yelled at by the mob. One of them reads 'Homolander ate my baby'. Not joking.
                    Yeah, I noticed that- and right underneath it, there's another line that looks like it says "The dingoes ate your baby." So apparently Ennis is a big Seinfeld fan.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
                      Yeah, I noticed that- and right underneath it, there's another line that looks like it says "The dingoes ate your baby." So apparently Ennis is a big Seinfeld fan.
                      I thought it said 'it wasn't the dingos'. But the only part visible is 'the dingos'.

                      Also, I've never once watched Seinfeld, but I know of the incident they're referring to:

                      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingos_ate_my_baby

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                      • #12
                        This was still a pretty big kick in the slats, even if you could see it coming. Interested to see where it goes from here.

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                        • #13
                          Someone out there is updating the Wikipedia website fairly frequently--I bought this issue two days ago, but the plot/updates were already posted.
                          For Butcher to even stand a chance against Frenchie and the Female, he's going to need to have the detonation device ready to go. No way he'll stand a chance with just one hand, unless he plays for their hearts the way he did MM--but at this point, I'm sure he'll pull it off.
                          So it's like people on this board called--Hughie versus Butcher over Annie.
                          I don't know about you guys but all things considered this is the kind of pacing I want as I finish a story. You'll never get this out of the Big 2, because of the obvious "Death can never be permanent" bullshit. Here though, it is. Sure, MM MAY come back as a zombie, but I doubt it. And yes, we have covers to tell us who will survive, understood. Still breaks my heart as we go, and I'm more excited about this as it happens than I am any other title out there.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by ambaxtoxin View Post
                            I thought it said 'it wasn't the dingos'. But the only part visible is 'the dingos'.

                            Also, I've never once watched Seinfeld, but I know of the incident they're referring to:

                            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dingos_ate_my_baby
                            Maybe Garth's just a big Buffy fan:

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Sir Gibby View Post
                              I'm more excited about this as it happens than I am any other title out there.
                              I have one word for you: Scalped. If you're not reading it, please start. That goes for everybody. They've been unexpectedly killing off major characters for years now, and in ways that make sense and allow everyone to maintain their dignity. Shunka's been a major character since Issue #1, FAR more likeable and intrinsic to the plot than MM has ever been in The Boys. When he died two months ago, it was after an entire two issues filled with nunchucks, chairlegs to the eye, crotch-stomps, epic dialog about betrayal and loyalty, and THEN he actually won, delivering a beat-down on protagonist Badhorse that makes the MM vs Butcher fight look like a mild domestic disturbance. When Redcloud stepped out and shot Shunka, my heart nearly broke. Shunka had just spent years trying to warn Redcloud that Badhorse was FBI, and in the end, Redcloud murders his closest friend and most loyal ally, all to save the life of a corrupt, heroin addicted cop. While Shunka lies bleeding out into the dirt, Badhorse repays Redcloud for saving his life by arresting him for murder.

                              But of course, that kind of writing requires that the author actually give a shit about his characters.

                              ...if you're unfamiliar with the character, here's Shunka in all his glory. That's a GUY he's kissing. That's how badass Shunka is: he's gayer than Northstar's wedding, and he will FUCK YOU UP if you mess with him:


                              If this character were appearing in a Garth Ennis comic, his name would be "Fancy", he'd be wearing hotpants and a belly shirt, everyone would call him a "poof", and he would have been raped to death by Jack from Jupiter half-way through his only appearance in issue #3.
                              Last edited by Kamakazi; 07-08-2012, 01:48 PM.

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