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The Boys #69 Review: Coming of the AquaButcher

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  • Kamakazi
    started a topic The Boys #69 Review: Coming of the AquaButcher

    The Boys #69 Review: Coming of the AquaButcher

    I'm sure the "#69" thing was Freudian in nature.

    Props to Saiddestroyer for inspiring the title of this thread.
    Let's start this week's recap with the cover. And if you don't like spoilers, you not only shouldn't be reading this recap, you shouldn't buy the issue, because the spoiler is right there on the cover, and has been for weeks.

    Three guesses what happens to Mother's Milk. If that seems like a spoiler to you, then you haven't read a single other issue of The Boys, EVER. The only time they do cover shots like this is when the person/dog being featured dies. We all knew MM was buying the farm over a month ago, when the first cover shot appeared. I'm kind of amazed that Blarney Cock didn't get his own "staring wistfully into the imaginary camera" cover back when HE died. So I'm sorry if that particular bit of news comes too early in the recap. Personally, I was a bit pissed off back when I first saw the damn "In Memoriam" cover, and realized that there wasn't a chance in hell that MM was making it to issue #69. Just like I'm pissed off knowing that Frenchie and the Female are obviously buying the farm next issue, and for the very same reason that I knew MM was catching one in the brainpan THIS issue.

    But enough about covers. In the words of the immortal Saiddestroyer: "Yadda yadda, dick joke, something something, Hughie looks a bit less idiot than usual, blablablah." However, the dick joke is funnier than usual. Anyway, nothing really new happens. Yes, we knew Vouglebaum was still alive. Yes, we knew Butcher had him. Yes, we knew that Butcher is working on something to kill everyone with V in their system. A lot of needless exposition occurs. Note to Garth: the time to explain something is when people still give a damn. I've used this analogy before, but here goes again: I used to be a "Lost" fan. I really wanted to know how Locke ended up in a wheel chair. For nearly three years I wanted to know. Finally, I stopped giving a shit. And that's when the writers decided to explain the wheelchair. The problem was, I didn't give a flying fuck at that point. Just like I no longer care who the guy was that Vas was guarding, or anything else that Garth spends six pages explaining. I'd already moved on. The time to tell me all that pointless shit was back when I still might have found it interesting.

    There's a cute scene with Vought Guy and Vought Gal, but it seems pointless and tacked on. These two are irrelevant now, and have been for several issues. As much as I like them as characters, their part of the story is over. I'm sure there's going to be some sort of SHOCKING TWIST ENDING wherein one of these two sells out the other to keep their job, but again, not a shit will be given on my part. The only storyline that would interest me regarding these two is if it turns out that they actually are in love, and they get married and move to a commune in Seattle. But that's not gonna happen.

    Hughie and the Boys decide that it's time to take down Butcher, leading to what will surely be the Female's only words, ever: "I hate mean people." After a bit of discussion, they decide that the need to stick together to take down Butcher. Then Hughie reminds them that they might actually stand a chance if they remained together, so in true Horror Movie fashion, they decide to split up, thus making it easier for Butcher to hunt them down and kill them.

    MM decides that hanging out at the Flatiron will provide him with the highest odds of dying first, so he camps out in front of a computer and calls the others by phone. "No, don't come back here," he tells Hughie. "I'd prefer to have a crowbar shoved up my ass by myself, thank you." And with that, Butcher walks in.

    MM and Butcher stare each other down a bit, and then Butcher tells MM that he could just walk away. "After what you did to Malchemical?" MM roars. "He was the best of our generation!" and with that, the Battle Royale begins. Side note: If you haven't read it yet, you probably think I'm joking about MM bringing up Malchemical.

    Butcher mentions that he thought about killing MM's mom, thus depriving him of the sweet nectar of the gods. MM punches Butcher through a wall, and says "Why didn't you then?" Butcher responds with the perfectly reasonable "Because she's your MUM, jerkoff!" MM responds with "Then why the hell did you even bring it up?" To which Butcher replies "I wanted to make myself seem human and reasonable, even though I'm planning on murdering her, you, your daughter, and every single other person on the planet who has V in their system." MM stops for a moment, confused. "Wait," he finally mutters. "That makes no fucking sense at all." "True", Butcher replies. "Hey, I'm having problems getting the pin out of this fragmentation grenade." MM squints at the grenade. "Hey, let me take a closer look." Butcher nods in agreement, and shoves the grenade directly into MM's nose. "Hey!" MM objects. "I'm far-sighted. I can't see shit this close...."

    BOOM!

    The grenade goes off, taking most of Butcher's hand and all of MM's face with it. Butcher then uses his one remaining hand to smother his faceless BFF.

    On the next page, we're shown a picture of next issue's cover, with Frenchie and the Female on it. The words "Guess who dies NEXT, guys?" is written in 72pt Helvetica Bold underneath them.
    Last edited by Kamakazi; 07-04-2012, 05:03 PM.

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Simon Rogerson View Post
    Uh-huh. And your point is?
    I think it's in reply to my post #33, where I wonder why nobody has thought, "Huh! I wonder what Mallory is up to? You know, the guy who formed this team, recruited each of us, and led us for so many years."

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdiotBall

    "The person carrying the idiot ball is often acting out of character, misunderstanding something that could be cleared up by asking a single reasonable question or performing a simple problem-solving action, but doesn't solely because the writers don't want him to."
    Uh-huh. And your point is?

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdiotBall

    "The person carrying the idiot ball is often acting out of character, misunderstanding something that could be cleared up by asking a single reasonable question or performing a simple problem-solving action, but doesn't solely because the writers don't want him to."

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by M. Drummond View Post
    Two other problems with this issue:

    1) We get confirmation that the Female made that unattributed word balloon back in #50...which also confirms just how clumsy that panel was to begin with. Her face is reflected in the blood with her mouth shut, the word balloon points nowhere...not a good setup for that kind of reveal.
    We don't know for sure if it was the the Female who spoke those words in the hanger, or indeed if the words were spoken out loud. Ambiguity.

    Originally posted by M. Drummond View Post
    Ennis screws up yet another big reveal. Remember way back when MM visits his mom for the first time, and judging by the closeup panels on that door, there's obviously supposed to be something horrible in there? And further scenes make it clear that she's almost certainly gigantically obese and/or Learning Channel Documentary-size huge-breasted? Well, MM is now dead, so...big friggin' deal. Any shot of her now with anybody who isn't MM just isn't going to have the same impact. I doubt we're going to see this in the next three issues; chances are we'll see her with Janie(the only family member she has left) in #72. Assuming Garth remembers it...
    I don't get your point. Whether we get to see MM's mother or not, why is it so important to see her with MM? If she's a corpulent blob the size of a basement, do we really need MM's presence for impact? Seeing her through Hughie's eyes could be all the more shocking, especially if he has to tell her that her son is dead.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by ambaxtoxin View Post
    ANNIE: But you sucked THOSE tits!
    Tits are good reasons for anything
    Last edited by Dannycat; 07-30-2012, 04:21 AM. Reason: Dicks just dicks

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by M. Drummond View Post
    I doubt we're going to see this in the next three issues; chances are we'll see her with Janie(the only family member she has left) in #72.
    The cover and solicitation for #70 disagree with you. Unless that's Hughie going for an impromptu swim in a whole load o' semen.

    EDIT: Meaning #72 will be 32 pages of Hughie and Annie repeating the following dialogue ad infinitum:

    HUGHIE: But you sucked THOSE dicks!

    ANNIE: But you sucked THOSE tits!
    Last edited by ambaxtoxin; 07-28-2012, 05:48 PM. Reason: Dicks and tits.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Two other problems with this issue:

    1) We get confirmation that the Female made that unattributed word balloon back in #50...which also confirms just how clumsy that panel was to begin with. Her face is reflected in the blood with her mouth shut, the word balloon points nowhere...not a good setup for that kind of reveal.

    2)Ennis screws up yet another big reveal. Remember way back when MM visits his mom for the first time, and judging by the closeup panels on that door, there's obviously supposed to be something horrible in there? And further scenes make it clear that she's almost certainly gigantically obese and/or Learning Channel Documentary-size huge-breasted? Well, MM is now dead, so...big friggin' deal. Any shot of her now with anybody who isn't MM just isn't going to have the same impact. I doubt we're going to see this in the next three issues; chances are we'll see her with Janie(the only family member she has left) in #72. Assuming Garth remembers it...

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    It's odd (i.e. idiotic) that none of the characters seem to know that Mallory is dead (assuming he is). In all of this, wouldn't MM have called him? They go through the deaths (Vas, Legend), but nothing on Mallory. Either Ennis has some great twist coming, or he's writing lazy.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    With great power...

    Originally posted by Dustin View Post
    I don't think any of the Boys would agree to this if this were the case; assuming this is something airborne or in the water that only affects V subjects, it will still kill a lot of innocent people who have V in their systems.

    There is the unspoken idea that whatever Butcher's doing could kill them as well, assuming its more genocidal and not a surgical strike.
    But then, if Butcher's planning to kill everyone with a trace of V in their system, why was he reluctant to off MM's Mum? She's going to die anyway...

    From Butcher's other comments in this issue, it seems that he's set upon this course of action because he feels as though he has no choice but to see it through; but it's not really in his nature to do it. He's turned out just like the Homelander!

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by statsman View Post
    What does Ebert call the lazy writing where the entire plot could be truncated if one character would just give another a crucial piece of information? Like this...

    MM: "Butcher, Why you gotta be doing this?"
    Butcher: "Vought is giving V to real soldiers in Red River. We have to have a way to stop them."
    MM: "Oh"
    I don't think any of the Boys would agree to this if this were the case; assuming this is something airborne or in the water that only affects V subjects, it will still kill a lot of innocent people who have V in their systems.

    There is the unspoken idea that whatever Butcher's doing could kill them as well, assuming its more genocidal and not a surgical strike.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    So, here is what we're looking at. Hughie tries to stop Butcher. Maybe he's successful. Then, the V-ed up Red River guys are released and Hughie is forced to implement Butcher's plan to kill all supes. Perhaps there's a moment to pause and reflect that it's the corporate interests that really have all the power (Irony!).

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Originally posted by statsman View Post
    What does Ebert call the lazy writing where the entire plot could be truncated if one character would just give another a crucial piece of information? Like this...

    MM: "Butcher, Why you gotta be doing this?"
    Butcher: "Vought is giving V to real soldiers in Red River. We have to have a way to stop them."
    MM: "Oh"
    The idiot plot?

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    What does Ebert call the lazy writing where the entire plot could be truncated if one character would just give another a crucial piece of information? Like this...

    MM: "Butcher, Why you gotta be doing this?"
    Butcher: "Vought is giving V to real soldiers in Red River. We have to have a way to stop them."
    MM: "Oh"

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    problem?

    http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...9QEwAQ&dur=547

    Leave a comment:

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