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The Boys #70: Review and Recap Malarky!

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  • The Boys #70: Review and Recap Malarky!

    Two issues to go, and STILL no Boris. Seriously, fuck him. Two issues left and he can't come back rejoin the band? I'm beginning to see why The Doctor drown all the Italians in that one issue of The Authority.

    We open with Hughie holding where his balls would be, were he a normal human being. My guess is that he's supposed to have a concussion, but it's hard to tell because he's a friggin' idiot. "Brain Damaged" for him is pretty much like every other day. Anyhow, he's being examined by Kevin Spacey, who is apparently a paramedic in the world of The Boys.

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    We're treated to several panels of Hughie making exactly as much sense as he always makes. Fortunately, Butcher forced Hughie to carry around a "Do Not Resuscitate" card, which one of the paramedics finds. They stop treating him and send him on his way, hoping that he'll die somewhere out of their jurisdiction. Seriously, The Boys have business cards? What the hell do they say? "The bearer of this card is a member of a top secret C.I.A. Black Ops group, so in case of emergencies, provide no medical care"?

    He wanders around being useless for a while, the decides to pay a call on Mrs. Milk. Why he has her address in his iPhone is anyone's guess, but then, nothing about this scene makes much sense. He wanders in and finds what we've all long suspected. MM"s mother is Jabba the Hutt with an afro. She also has prehensile boobs. For reasons best known to Garth Ennis, Hughie decides to suckle on one. I'd suspect that this was leading up to "Hughie absorbs all of MM's strength", but that would be so monumentally stupid that... that... that it's probably exactly where this is all heading. Never mind that it was never before hinted that MM got his strength from his mom's boob-juice, just that he weakened and potentially died without it.

    Back with Vought Guy and Vought Gal, Vought Guy notices that Jess is taking some sort of pills. He points out that she really ought to calm down, because he's inevitably going to betray her to cover his own ass. She nods sadly in agreement.

    Back at chateau le Hughie, we finally find out who the serial masturbator is: It's... Jimmy Walker, from "Good Times". The years have not been kind. Butcher paid him to wank off under Hughie's door every night, so that Hughie would move. So uh... this has happened every night? For two years? And this is the first time Super-Sleuth Hughie has managed to catch the dude? But the bigger question is: how many people did Butcher have to interview before he found someone with blood in their semen, so that they'd match his prophecy about what Hughie would find under his door every morning?

    Hughie decides he needs advice from someone who's his intellectual equal, so he consults with Jamie the Hamster. He decides that "no matter how strong he makes himself, Butcher will always be stronger, because Butcher enjoys it." Yeah Hughie. That's why Butcher always wins. Because he enjoys it. Not because you're an ineffectual moron who's never once managed to successfully do anything in this series.

    Having been convinced by Jaime the Hamster that he's out of his league, Hughie decides to call someone smarter and more competent than he is: Monkey. Yes, you read that right. His solution is to call Monkey. Monkey informs him that Butcher is in the Empire State Building. See, apparently those "Secret Black Ops" cards that The Boys carry give them authorization to clear out entire skyscrapers. No, really. Just show one to the cops, and they empty out the Empire State Building for you, no questions asked. Because why would anyone create a fake "Secret Black Ops" card?

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    Entitles Bearer To Unlimited Police Cooperation

    Several panels of Hughie looking stupid later, we get the big confrontation we've always wanted: Butcher vs Hughie! There's a bunch of talk recapping everything we already know, and then Hughie does the only smart thing he's ever done in this book: he tries to kill himself. Either that or he tries to ram Butcher out the window, and manages to even screw that up. In any event, Butcher grabs Hughie's leg, and they have a scintillating conversation about what a tool Hughie is.

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    The book ends with the glass that Butcher was holding on to breaking. WILL OUR HEROES SURVIVE?
    Last edited by Kamakazi; 09-06-2012, 02:50 AM.

  • #2
    Thanks for the recap. I keep holding out hope that Ennis has got a real destination in mind here, that there is a point to this final arc. I'm there for two more issues, and I imagine in the future that I'll just pretend the series ended at the White House Rose Garden.

    You don't mention Stilwell's speech about corporations, which completely and totally misrepresents their "character". The dark side of corporate officers is not their unswerving loyalty to the enterprise. That's a trait of religions and political movements, not businesses. No, the bad thing about corporate malfeasance is the willingness of individuals to bail when times get hard or a better opportunity comes along. It's about the money and the stock options, and Stilwell's options are underwater. Maybe he is feeding Jess a line of bs in hopes that she will take the fall. I kind of hope so, because that's a lot more plausible (and interesting) than the alternative.

    In interviews, Ennis has written about the evil of corporations. To sum up his work:

    Preacher- deities and the religions organized for them abuse power and are unworthy of it
    His entire body of war comics- governments abuse power and are unworthy of it
    The Boys- individuals and corporations abuse power and are unworthy of it

    At what point does cynicism become nihilism?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by statsman View Post
      At what point does cynicism become nihilism?
      For me, Ennis crossed that particular line right around issue #1 of Crossed. But as for Vought Guy's "Elect Romney" speech: The reason I didn't say much about it is that I, like you, hope that it was all bullshit, intended to keep Jess in line until the inevitable moment when he throws her to the wolves. Vought Guy has never been shown to care about anything other than himself. If he got a better offer from Google, he'd leave VA in a heartbeat.

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      • #4
        I'll try to keep an open mind but, this was not what I was hoping for. Hopefully, it is a setup for a very interesting ending.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
          Two issues to go, and STILL no Boris. Seriously, fuck him. Two issues left and he can't come back rejoin the band? I'm beginning to see why The Doctor drown all the Italians in that one issue of The Authority.
          I never left, honey, it's just that I can't say anything useful or funny about this series that you didn't write before. It's a hard life.


          Now, either a MASSIVELY SHOCKING twist is going to happen next time, or I will not even bother to read the ending issue. "The Boys" proved to be so predictable that you folks here even managed to get the bloody semen secret about 4 years ago. Problem is, when Ennis has been NOT predictable, he's been painfully disappointing (yes, Highland Laddie still hurts). I don't want to see Hughie fly into the sky with Annie, Vought Guy's head explode while he's mind-controlling Vought Gal, and/or Rayner and Monkey order an Anti-Supe warhead to be launched on Butcher's ass.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Boris View Post
            I don't want to see Hughie fly into the sky with Annie, Vought Guy's head explode while he's mind-controlling Vought Gal, and/or Rayner and Monkey order an Anti-Supe warhead to be launched on Butcher's ass.
            Sigh... I'm so sad I wasn't around for the Boris years. I feel I missed so much. Anyhoo, can we reach a consensus on the issue of Hughie flying away with Annie? No-one wants to see this, right? Because it would be so monumentally lame, I fear my rectum would prolapse out of sheer disappointment.

            No offence or anything, but if this has been written, it can be unwritten; if it has been designed and inked, it can be binned, and if it has already been printed, you can pulp the lot. Seriously, don't let it happen. That is all.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Simon Rogerson View Post
              Anyhoo, can we reach a consensus on the issue of Hughie flying away with Annie? No-one wants to see this, right? Because it would be so monumentally lame, I fear my rectum would prolapse out of sheer disappointment.

              This could be worse. They could have The Deep fly in and rescue them. (we haven't seen him lately) or better yet, Monkey! (Butcher would never let that go!)

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Simon Rogerson View Post
                Sigh... I'm so sad I wasn't around for the Boris years. I feel I missed so much.
                It's almost exactly as if all you knew about the Beatles was McCartney's solo work.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Kamakazi View Post
                  It's almost exactly as if all you knew about the Beatles was McCartney's solo work.
                  Ha Ha! I dunno... it's not like McCartney could make me spit out my tea due to uncontrollable laughter...

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                  • #10
                    ..... Although his performance at the Olympics opener did remind me of the old guy pissing himself at the Supies (only funny scene in Herogasm).

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by statsman View Post
                      At what point does cynicism become nihilism?
                      http://xkcd.com/167/

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                      • #12
                        I found this issue to be the silliest one of the recent bunch, and I'm fearing that my disappointment will only increase.

                        I could accept MM's mom becoming so obese she couldn't leave the house, but turning into a blob with tentacle boobs? Just from getting ambient V into her system without injecting or smoking it? And I'm guessing this transformation happened fairly recently--didn't MM mention a nurse or someone looking after her at one point?

                        And Butcher has been trying to get Hughie to move out by hiring Mr. Potamus to spurt inhumanly huge loads of semen under his door? He couldn't do something practical, like, oh, maybe...LEANING ON MONKEY TO COUGH UP A FEW HUNDRED MORE IN THE BLACK BUDGET EACH MONTH FOR MORE EXPENSIVE HOUSING?

                        And did anyone else guess that Butcher's big confrontation with Hughie depended entirely on Hughie calling up Monkey at the right time? Was Butcher prepared to wait a week or so in an evacuated Empire State Building for Hughie to do so, being that Hughie is, well, Hughie?

                        I get the feeling more than ever that Ennis just isn't thinking about this stuff, now that the end's in sight. When Preacher came to an end, there was a sense all around that it was a Very Big Deal. Maybe it's just my perception, but it just seems like Dynamite is putting this out with a sense of "OK, it's over. Now, moving along..." And you can't really blame them, can you?

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