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Redoing The Boys

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  • Redoing The Boys

    I think we're all pretty convinced, by now, that Ennis has wreaked his own bright idea. The Boys had declined to a point where it makes no sense at all, even as satrie.

    So, assuming you had the chance, how would you rewrite The Boys?


  • #2
    I'd start by deciding if the Supes are an actual threat, or just objects of ridicule. Ennis wants it both ways, and it just doesn't work. I'd also get rid of Monkey. He's completely pointless- just another Strawman for Ennis to take cheap shots at.

    I'd also focus more on Frenchy/The Female, but more like Ennis did in "Believe", and less like the two twee "origin" stories.

    Then, if I still intended for the book to be an attack on comic cliches, I'd stop USING comic cliches. For example, Stormfront really should have killed The Female after she half-blinded him, or at very least done more than 'mildly bruise" her.

    Most of all, I'd take the story back it's basics, and focus on the conflict between Butcher and Homelander. In all the years this title has run, they've only confronted each other ONE time.

    Then, of course, I'd get rid of the Idiot Ball that Ennis loves to pass between his characters. If a conflict could be resolved by 30 seconds of conversation, and yet it NEVER gets resolved, then it's a bad conflict.


    • #3
      I'd focus on the series' core concept, according to Ennis, that "we own our freedom and security to very bad people".

      It is hardly true if we think of Butcher, but it's the end of it. The other Boys just seem to provide cheap plot issues (MM, Mall) or comic relief (Frenchie and the Female). Hughie will maybe get the prize for the silliest and most hated main character ever. The only character fitting the bill so far is Dakota Bob. Even the Legend seems more complex and "bad" than the whole CIA, Boys included.

      So, if the Boys are supposed to be Bad People, make'em BAD. Stereotypical if you need, but bad. MM was a crack dealer that watched too many Tarantino movies. Frenchie worked into ethnic cleansing and went crazy after breathing his own nerve gas. The Female is perfectly sane and killed her family out of boredom. Then they all went into the supes-killing business for personal reasons, or because they really had no choice.
      Butcher should look the cleanest of the bunch.
      People in comics don't look so bad if they're victims or looneys, right?

      Forget Hughie. You want a "good" character to provide contrast, you need an actual HERO. Throw someone like Jesse Custer into the mix. And then make him fail every move and mess everything, because, you know, good guys that always win just live into comics.

      I am perfectly fine with the idea of supes being ridiculed.
      But then, there ought to be a threat, something more consistent than Vought. VAC is supposed to be the ultra-evil villain corporation that runs the world, and they can't even make a working rifle.
      Corporations are evil? Fine, then write'em as evil, all-powerful and shady. Readers should FEAR Vought, not wait to see what idiot doomsday plan they'll come up with next issue.
      Have Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files running business, instead of Vought Guy and his everchanging hair. Have them bombing villages and slaughtering millions, Guernica-style, just to see how their latest supe behaves. Let's see them exploit workers, ruin economies, phone the President and make him crap his pants, rape secretaries and get away with it, I don't know, something plain bastard. They have the power and they use it.
      Don't let anyone understand their plans until the very last page, and then realize their "plan" is JUST that they've no plans other than maintaining the status-quo and the profits it provides. And if they need to sell cheap products because they're evil and uncaring, at least don't make'em USE their own crap.

      And, of course, "real life" HURTS. Innocents die. Bastards get all. Good-hearts finish last. No way someone like Annie gets to survive to issue #50, and no supe worthier than Blarney Cock can actually be killled without trigging World War III or causing the collapse of the US economy.

      It's a bad world, right?


      • #4
        I'd focus a lot more on the heroes being spoofed. While I appreciate the fact Ennis wants to do more than just lampoon them and puts all this tremendous plot and backstory into the series, I'd like to see a silly one shot for every team the Boys end up taking down. Why are these "heroes" so relevant to their world? Disaster relief? Fighting crime? (Where are the super villains--150 are killed in Russia, the others are...?) If so many celebrity sex tapes we do/don't want to see get out there, for chrissake you'd figure at least SOME exploits of these yoohoos would have gone public.

        Speaking of celebrity sex tapes, Kim's really did nothing for me, man. At least Kendra could dance like a stripper.

        The detective work we've seen has been solid, I want to see more. I want to see the blackmail, the criticism of dismissable comic plots, poor handling (insulting handling) of characterization or straight up "the comic plots that read like shitty comic plots." Nothing I've read has felt like Ennis saying "fuck you xx writer, xx artist" which I'm not trying to imply should be there. Teasing and criticizing a genre can be done without making it personal. But faustian deals over marriages, ultimate desecrations of 8-year continutity with ridiculously stupid and pointless shock value (I'd argue that's NOT in the Boys, consistently at least), or another lost bastard tripping his way through can't help but laugh at some of these.

        I want to watch the Boys fail at something. They've taken down everyone they've ever targetted. I've never seen them lose a fight ("Oi! We overstepped these cunts! Pop smoke and evade!"). Sure, the Female that one time, a mute with angry tendancies who has been consistently angry and I don't feel a goddamn thing at all for her. If you'd had Frenchie or MM taken down by Stormfront, I would have actually been concerned. Did you identify with your characters that always came out on top, or the ones who lost the girl, lost a friend, failed the mission or didn't succeed? Who the hell did you learn from? (On that note, Pat Conroy's "My Losing Season" was an amazing read.)

        Ennis has a point to all the background Vought stuff, I got it. I appreciate the fact he's criticizing the nature of government contracts, absolutely. I just want more out of the book than politics. They're not bad, but they don't keep me enthralled. Show me more rock star a-holes, have Darick draw more women, show the Boys doing their damn job. Spend two issues devoted to solo missions and how Frenchie acts as an informant while MM is beating up Radar Raider, watch Butcher fail to intimidate someone bigger and badder than him, see what kind of fallout a supe goes through when Butcher actually does push out all that blackmail, give me a silent story when the Female actually has some kind of conflict other than person-to-person, replace Hughie with a V'd up Terror and have him hunt down Michael Vick. Too much politics, not enough blackmailing, and this book thrives off of "regular folks" taking on untouchable "legends."

        I couldn't do a better job than Ennis, but I'd definitely focus on a different angle.


        • #5
          Less talking heads. More Billy Badoing!


          • #6
            Originally posted by saidestroyer View Post
            Less talking heads. More Billy Badoing!
            Leave it to SD to make us all look like pretentious assholes by summing up exactly what The Boys need in six short words.


            • #7
              I'll now have to write a 10000 lines post to point out it's actually Bobby Badoing. Woe on Saidestroyer! Let's hide his wee wee stick where he can't find it!


              • #8
                His name is BOBBY BUTT-FUC--

                Err... badoing. Billy Badoing.

                BADOING, BADOING, BADOING...


                • #9
                  Nothing wrong with a man crush. Even fat kids need love.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Sir Gibby View Post
                    Nothing wrong with a man crush. Even fat kids need love.
                    You're a sick man. Shame on you. Fat kids can't and shouldn't be loved. Never.

                    Oh, I've got an idea! Re-start the series with a Pre-Whiz 8-issue arc. Art by Justiniano.


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by saidestroyer View Post
                      You're a sick man. Shame on you. Fat kids can't and shouldn't be loved. Never.

                      That team sure liked to eat a lot.


                      • #12
                        Blasphemers! There is no redoing THE BOYS! It's great the way it is. I could name several other series, by some bald schmuck, which were fantastic for years, until it came to the finale and fizzled into stupidity.

                        With THE BOYS, you know what you're getting: stupidity from the start - along with all the trapping to make it a classic! Reacher Dick! Love Sausage! Jack from Jupiter! Hamish! What more could ye ask for?



                        • #13
                          I think that if you moved the setting from America to Wakanda, most, if not all of the problems we have had with The Boys would be solved...